The gap between success and failure may be an inch wide, but it’s a mile deep.
Steve Feinberg and I were sitting in a coffee shop some months back and we ended up having a front row seat to an unfolding drama illustrating both the best opportunities in social influence but also how they can miss by an inch and fall flat.
It was about 11:00AM, too early for lunch and after the traditional “get a cup of coffee in the morning” time. The place had half a dozen people sitting in it, working on laptops and reading papers. This particular coffee shop was attached to a bookstore that was similarly populated with browsers. The sidewalks and patios outside had reasonable foot traffic.
As we worked, I noticed that one of the two people working in the coffee shop was preparing a tray of small, shot-glass sized drinks and bite-sized muffins. “Watch,” I said, “she’s going to walk over and offer us a sample…” But no. She then walked to what turned out to be an intercom and blasted, “Attention, shoppers. We’re offering free samples of [some sort of chai drink] and [some sort of muffin] here in the coffee shop…”
We looked at each other and both had the same reaction. “Wow. What a let-down.”
A moment’s preparation is one hell of a lot better than a day of clean-up.
Any time we need something to happen, we’ll find that reciprocity is the decision trigger that either makes it or breaks it. Give before we ask to receive. We feel social pressure to give back when we have received something, often far out of the scope of the original gift. And the nature of the gift being unexpected uncovers the problem with what our waitress did.
She was smart to offer samples, particularly in a down-cycle of the day. She was smart to offer them to browsers in the bookstore, as well. By announcing it over a loud speaker, however, she turned a gift into a reward. The curtain was pulled back and we saw it for what it was. A bribe, and not a very personal – or personable – one. “If you’ll come into the coffee shop, where you aren’t at the moment, I’ll give you something small – and in return, my expectation is that you’ll buy something larger.”
Key Takeaways.
A gift is more powerful than a reward. And often far smaller, too. We all see the bribe coming and often will take active countermeasures to avoid it. The guy at the counter offering free anything is someone we often avoid eye contact with, isn’t he? Why? We’re reluctant to fall into social debt so easily.
The difference between a gift and a reward often comes down to expectation. When the recipient isn’t expecting it, the gift can become a real “word of mouth-worthy” event.
Most consumer-facing brands don’t get this. They rely on rewards. It isn’t their fault, either – they haven’t been trained to think in this way and they’re usually perfectly content with average results. That isn’t to say that you should be, though.
What could she have done?
She could have had her colleague staff the counter and she could have walked through the bookstore – and even the coffee shop, and maybe even the sidewalk or patio – and offered free samples with a simple, “Can I offer you a milk chai? It’s new and it’s really good.”
A gift. No strings. Unexpected. Very welcome. Notice the personal hook, too? Saying, “It’s new” triggers the Rule of the Rare – it’s exclusive because it’s new. Saying, “It’s really good,” is social proof – she’s telling you what she likes – and you might like it, too. Personal, connected, insider knowledge amongst friends.
The likely result? Good feelings and the memory that you can get that new milk chai drink in the back of the bookstore. And they have muffins, too. I might go there now and I might go there later, but regardless I really like this bookstore and that girl that gave me the free drink.
On the other hand, she could announce it over a loud speaker and no one would bother listening. If a sampling program results in no samples being handed out, is it a program at all? Ponder this koan over a small cup of milk chai, why don’t you.
Gifts are powerful.
They set up relationships, are genuinely appreciated, and put in motion chains of events that can positively conclude with our making a natural and welcome request. When someone says, “thank you,” you have a socially acceptable opportunity to ask for something in return.
Regards.
